Tech-Heads Walk With Wood

As all of you know that are reading this – the only way that you can is by being on line. A blog can be printed out but its origination is from the use of a ‘pooter. I wrote this on a ‘pooter. I accessed my blog site by using a ‘pooter to post it and you used your ‘pooter to open it up and read it.

Sheeeeeeet! We can hardly function without these stinkin letter peckin processsors.

I get my hockey scores from my ‘pooter and even listen to my damned for losin LA Kings on it too (Oh yeah! Whooped the Ducks the other night in OT – Thank you Rob Blake!). What else? Oh yeah – the social club I belong to called myspace.com – ain’t that somethin – a place to make friends. Yeah I belong to a few large friendly groups there that ain’t bout nothin but hockey. Now that’s some good shit. I’ve still got some good drinkin buddies from the teams I played on but now through myspace I’m makin lots a new hockey buds and gals with my ‘pooter.

But I’ll tell ya something that just drives me nuts. Its when my ‘pooter ain’t kickin the shit the way its ‘sposed to. Its worse then skatin with weak defense that can’t take their man out. It’s like takin that killer slap shot that’s going to stretch some net and the damn shaft snaps below your lower glove. You’ve been there. You know the frustration….. oh fuckkkkk…….

Well, over the last couple of weeks my ‘pooter’s been on the shits. I mean some brown gravy coatin the shorts. Damn it – it hasn’t been good. Some a-hole sent me a friend invite on myspace that had some phony add covering up their user name and picture. When I clicked the damn thing to close it all kinds of shit popped up and a vicious ass-smellin virus climbed on board. It started accessin all sorts of my personal files, making ads pop-up for all kind a shit that I didn’t need and slowing my ‘pooter down to a crawl. You know how a puck stops when it hits a spot of water during times when the rink’s refrigeration system ain’t working right? Well that’s what my ‘pooter was up to. It really was pissin me off if ya know what I mean, ehh?

There are a variety of names that the techie folks use for this viral shit. They call it virus’s, Trojan horses, malware, spyware, adware, etc. Careful buds, some of this shit is really malicious and you certainly should protect your ‘pooters these crafty characters who think up this crap.

I’m sure some of it has some real business and marketing aspect to it. The adware and tracking cookies ain’t much different than those rating systems that the radio and TV folks use to keep track of what were watching and pay more for advertising for the shows that have the most viewers. Gol-damn them advertisements on NHL games must be awfully damn expensive based on that idea, ehh? (Come on guys – bring back my favorite ad: “Dodge Caliber – Silly Fairy”.) We’ve got commercials and advertising all over the damn place. After a while maybe we become sorta numb to it. Ehh? The last time you went to a game or watched one on TV, how many advertisements did ya see? The boards are covered with them. Right? Even the arena’s that the games are played in are named after big businesses that get the right to slap their name around.

I’ve got a University of Minnesota, Duluth vs Wisconsin on the tube right now. Tied at zero in the third period (missed a lot of this good game – season finale for each - while a damn basketball game was running into OT) and you can easily see ad’s even inked into the ice. Yeah, the boards are covered with them and the building structures between levels are coated with them too. We just sorta live and breath this marketing pizzazz every moment of our lives. Shoot folks, I even ‘member skatin with a kid from Finland a few years back that had so many ads on his pants that you couldn’t hardly tell what color they were supposed to be.

Got a little side tracked there folks. Sorry about that. But shit, I was awfully damned upset about the way my ‘pooter was running. I already had some antivirus software on it but it again was like weak defense – just not too good. So I left the woods for bit and rolled into town and picked up something better. Got home and loaded it but it was too late. This viral piece a shit was rewritin itself and stuff so fast that alone the new stuff was having a hard time too. But they’ve got a phone number that you can call to do some hands on fixin. This I did, ya betcha! Took a bit a time, several calls, several re-downloads, etc (I’d be bareassed to tell ya how much time I spent on it today) but I’m back up and runnin just fine. Because of the help I got I’m back poundin the keys for your swell entertainment again tonight. Hope ya’ve enjoyed it!

They say word of mouth is some damn good marketing. So with no regrets I want to commend them tech-heads at Symantec no matter where in the world they are. They’re walking with wood!

Jasper Wheats here – walking with wood again.