NCAA 2007

Yah, so ya been watching the NCAA tournaments on TV, eh? Yah, me too. I gotta thank them guys over at Comcast Sportnet for putting some hockey playoffs on my TV. I’m just so sick of all this NCAA basketball shit. I don’t think that none of them boys is from the back woods if ya know what I mean. That B-ball crap is just hoggin up all my TV time in the evenins after I come home from a hard days work and can’t even watch none of my more favorite shows. It just really pisses me off. So here it is Saturday again and damn if there ain’t some good stuff on.

If ya get right down to it I guess I’m just some sorta cheap bastard too tight to buy the NHL and college sports channels from my local cable provider. So I suffer and I complain like some sorta sorry ass. Well big deal, I gotta right to vent a bit once in a while. I mean I’m not some sort prissy candy-ass. I get the elbows and stick up going into the corners and will sneak a hook when I can.

I slept in a bit this morning; but only cuz I woke up around 3:30 with this f’n neck ache and took some non-prescrip pain killers and read some Dean Koontz for a bit ‘fore it kicked in and went back to sleep. Only to wake up finally from a stinkin dream where I’m getting eighty-sixed from my job. Now that would really suck right now. There ain’t much other work here in the back woods and I’d probably have ta just hang out through the summer being a bum like a player on a team that didn’t make the Stanley Cup playoffs. Rich, ehh?

Had my bacon and eggs and went for my twenty mile bike ride. You sissies that ride in the gym. Checked out some wild turkeys and mule deer along the way. Good stuff! Walking with wood. Came back home showered and put some fresh duds on. Shorts and my Bragg Crane t-shirt. Used to use Bragg to do some a my work. They turned me on to some Ducks tickets once in a while. Four seats to the right of the net. They were positioned just above the glass and you really couldn’t look down at your nachos if play was coming your way cuz ya could loose your teeth or take home some souvenir stitches if ya weren’t careful. Now they got them fool nets up and no chance of free souvies. So this t-shirt – its maroon/burgundy with gold lettering on the front and a silk-screened crane thingy on the back. Ya know kinda like the Golden Gopher’s colors.

The first game of the day is Minnesota versus Air Force. Though I got ties to both St. Paul and Colorado Springs, I guess cuz a the t-shirt I’m going to root for Minnesota.

When I was a kid I used to climb around the capital building in St. Paul with a school buddy, Aron Yngve. His dad was a state senator or something like that and we used to sneak into closets, go out on the roof, and do other fool things that would get ya put away now days. Ehh, and I’ve been over to the Como Zoo in St. Paul a few times too. Any of ya ever been there? I’ll tell ya don’t go in that blasted glass plant place there on a hot summer day – it’ll cook ya. What, else? Oh yeah --- back in the day spent shit load of evenings chuggin sixty cent pitchers and eating pickled eggs at Culla’s that was over off of Riverside Drive by the University.

Later on after I had to earn a living I did some work on building Falcon Air Force Base just outside of Colorado Springs. I guess they named the base after the Academy’s teams’ name. While I was in town I visited the old Broadmoor Ice Skating Rink. Shit that place probably isn’t even around anymore. I drove out to the entrance to the academy once also. Nice town, Colorado Springs.

I don’t know why I’m thinkin about this right now, but did I ever tell you guys that my right leg is about an inch and half shorter then my left one? Yup. I think it was polio or something when I came outa the womb or shortly there after. It was going around back in the day. The doc’s tried to talk my folks into making me wear a brace and lifts when I was a kid. Shit it was far enough away to see a doc anyway and my old man says to em “He can live with it. Life ain’t easy from the get, ehh? Dis just might gib em some advantage later on.” Later when I started skatin he tells me “Jasper, ya gotta skate sorta squatty wit yore damn legs spread apart. Can’t be lookin all unstable out there. Ehh?” Yeah that was the old man – always riding my ass. Having this shorter leg gave me a hell of an advantage with my backhand being that I shoot righty, I could really lean in from my short side.

Ehh, back to the playoffs. Now I ain’t no sports writer that tells ya a tale that so twisted up ya can’t tell who scored first or what the final was. I like to tell it straight – there ain’t no bullshit comin from my piehole. I gotta tell ya for most a the game I felt like the Falcons were out-playin the Golden Gophers (I ain’t never seen no gopher that was golden – what the heck were they thinking, ehh?). It started with the Falcons first goal about ten minutes into the first period. Hanjer, freshman from Las Vegas, put a snappy little wrister in from the left slot. It was sweet goal for a kid that got his start playin roller hockey.

Minnesota looked good on a power play a short time later but couldn’t put it in the net. Then there was some real good bit of end to end action where the Falcons almost score again.

Jay Barriball, a freshman for the Gophers from Prior Lake, Minnesota scores in close from the left side on a slapshot with eleven minutes left in the second period. That was his nineteenth of the year. Pretty damn good for a freshman, ehh? With a little over a minute left in the period, the Air Force goes on a five on three power play. The crowd in Denver, being probably mostly locals, comes alive cheering on the Falcons. With less then thirty-seven seconds left, Andrew Ramsey, a senior from Noblesville, Indiana, scores from the right corner of the crease with Briggs, Minnesota’s goalie, giving him almost an open net. Funny thing guys, Briggs’ hometown is Colorado Springs. Ehh? Bet he had some family and fans there for the game.

The game goes into the third period with the Falcons still on the power play and nothing additional comes of it. But at about five minutes into the third. Bret Nylander, number 29, of Baudette, Minnesota, puts a wrap around in for the Falcons. They’re up three to one now for those a ya keepin score. Nylander’s goal reminded me of Alexander Frolov of my LA Kings – tits ehh, but not with Frolov’s reach!

About eight minutes left in the game Minnesota scores their second goal on a power play as number 29, Stoa from Bloomington, Minnesota, puts one in the five hole from just to the right side of the crease. A short time later Barriball almost ties it with his wrap around. This is some good stuff folks.

Minnesota finally ties it up when Johnson takes a monster slapper from the left point. Jim O’Brian of Maplewood, Minnesota tips it in with less then six minutes left.

Damn if my left foot ain’t itchin like shit right now. There’s a medical term for it but crap if I can think of it. It’ll come ta me, maybe. Ehh? It itches where my little toe is supposed to be. Yup, I lost that sucker back when I was in my twenties. I had gotten lucky and pulled a tag for a moose hunt. The unfortunate thing was I was a little short on cash. I’d been savin for some new boots when I got the draw so I had to pinch for the tag instead a the boots. My old boots didn’t look really, really bad so It was what the f—k. The only problem was that the last time I had worn these RedWings was giving an acid cleaning to old man Steenwyk’s cement driveway. The acid had dried into the stitching and I sure the shit didn’t realize it. By the time I was half into my hunt the stitching got wet and started falling apart. I came upon some fresh moose poop about then and wasn’t about to give up the hunt. The left boot fell apart the quickest and I didn’t have no duct tape to fix em. Awfully damn soon my toes started going numb, must a been only about ten below. I didn’t think it was too bad, I could handle the numbness – just like having your skates a bit too tight for too long. Anyhow I never got the moose, but the frost bite got my little toe. Sorta changed the way I skated after that, but all for the good.

Oh yeah, we was talking about the game. About a minute after tying the game, Mike Carman of Apple Valley, Minnesota finally put the Golden Gophers in the lead. The goal was contested but stood.

The Falcons were down and pulled their goalie with more then two minutes to play. Again I’m reminded of my Kings – back in the day when Andy Murray was coaching them and would pull the same stunt to try to come back at any cost. Unfortunately it didn’t help this time and the Falcons had to put him back in with thirty-nine seconds left cuz of a faceoff in their end.

So Minnesota with three straight unanswered goals beat the Air Force Academy four to three in Denver and will advance to the Frozen Four in St. Louis. The next game had the University Of Massachusetts Minute Men losing to the Maine Black Bears at Rochester, New York’s Blue Cross Arena. And Notre Dame’s Fighting Irish are losing right now to the Michigan State University Spartans while playing in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I sure the shit don’t have the energy ta give ya the details on these games. Hope ya watched em. Ehh?

Really, really good stuff – this college hockey playoffs. Sure beats the shit out a basketball cuz winner’s or losers these boys are walking with wood.